My story of happiness

My happiness is busy making others happy.

-Charles Simic


Happiness, you are a traitor,

our forbidden love you ignore

and our childhood picture

you have torn down into pieces

after you elope with other happiness.


I tried to glue down the pieces

especially when you blindfolded me.

I was surprised that your arms

were not embracing at all.

Hopeless am I for your return

for that sweet blindness sweeping

me off.


I stopped disturbing the bar

for my future happiness returning

back. The bartender is dubious.

My beer glass replaces happiness.

Only this moment, this moment.


When I closed the door,

shut my languid eyes in despair

only to invite your presence,

pressing your gentle hands once

more against my eyes, I surprised

myself to see happiness.


The womb of the words could not give birth to this longing,
Let me caress your shadow now that I’m missing you.
Shades of blue devour my heart as I awake this morning
Now that you are gone, I am left alone, missing you.
I hate those giant curtains covering the windows;
It makes me want to wipe the tears with it, missing you.
The cold coffee, the cold bread, the cold butter,
I ask that you remain for a second because I’m missing you.
I could not discover another word for grief, my darling,
The syntax of time calls for a hiatus, missing you.
The chirping clock forgets its duty today, only today,
I wander into the kingdom of dreams, missing you.
Sorrow penetrates into my left ventricle for so long,
Piercing my caged heart into its coldness, missing you.
My flowers forget to remind me to water them,
Staring the whole day into the ceiling, missing you.
This Mojave desert thirst could be quenched by your presence;
Be an oasis with me as soon as possible now that I’m missing you.
Pain drives me mad I begin to let go and dance and sing,
Sorrow is insulin to your diabetic kiss, missing you.


First published in The Seventh Quarry Swansea Poetry Magazine Issue 24